Bus Stop Approacher

 

Photo by David Boyle via flickr

I go to work very early in the morning, around 5 AM. I was waiting on the 23A when a car pulled over at the curb. This wasn’t really a surprise; the bars nearby often get deliveries or newspapers are changed at that hour. But this time a thirtyish man in jeans and a sweatshirt came out of the car and approached me.

 

“Hello.”
Oh, lord. “Hey.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“The bus.”
“Want a ride?”
“No thank you.”
“You sure? I’ll give you a ride.”
“No thank you.”
“It’s no problem.”

These are the consequences of being raised polite to a fault. Usually I don’t mind brushing off stuff like this, and I’m more than willing to talk to strangers, but this morning I was genuinely creeped out. How was I supposed to ignore him? What was I supposed to say?

Register for a FREE HBDC! workshop.

Join us for a free workshop on street harassment at S.A.L.S.A next Tuesday from 6:45 to 8:45.

Register HERE!

About the workshop:

Studies show that at least 80 to 100 percent of women are sexually harassed in a public setting at least once in their life. However, we don’t talk about this type of gender-based harassment when we discuss violence against women. Gender-based public sexual harassment can be anything from verbal harassment to physical, leading to sometimes fatal consequences.

Since many of us (women, LGBT, men) face this type of harassment during our daily interactions and don’t know what to do, come to this workshop! Join Holla Back DC! in a part interactive, part lecture workshop showcasing the history of anti-street harassment activism in DC, highlighting common scenarios of street harassment, and tips on how to address the harassment as an bystander witnessing harassment and an individual experiencing harassment.

We look forward to seeing you there!

How To Respond To Harassment

Last week we received a post from an individual asking the community how do you respond to harassment? We received some really great comments and ideas so we thought we should share our own thoughts on responding to street harassment.

At HBDC! we strongly believe in using nonviolent methods to engage our oppressors.  The tips we teach at our HBDC! trainings and workshops are the methods we learned from our Shero Marty Langelan, who has given us permission to use them on our blog and in our trainings. We HIGHLY recommend her book Back Off! for a more in depth look on various methods to address street harassment as well as the history of street harassment.

Remember to only engage when you feel safe and when you feel like saying something. There is no right or wrong way to address street harassment and whatever your reaction is, is okay.

Try out one of these methods from Marty and let us know how it goes!

Harassment as a Sport

Photo by Ben Cumming via Flickr

I don’t think I qualify for this exactly, but I think the story should be told. A month ago I saw a perfectly respectable lady harassed by a man in his SUV. He was shouting at her, something about her red hair – which, by the way, was a red in the “normal” range of reds. He was shouting so loudly that he could be heard from all over the block and he shouted a second time as if once wasn’t enough. Here is the thing: some people are harassed in random occurrences, and some are targeted for sport. I was that person. My point is this: when it happens frequently, and to one person over and over again, this “sport” becomes destructive. People need to know that this is happening, that it’s bullying, and that it’s not a joke.

Submitted by LW on 10/31/2009

Location: Adams Morgan, Conn. and Calvert, K St., 9^th and G (GW campus), Union Station

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

“Hey Blondie!”

I was walking back from a bar crawl with my roommate. It was a Saturday night — still early, around 10:00pm. We walked by a group of people whose party had spilled out onto their front porch.

Usually large groups of loud, drunk men make me nervous, but I was with my friend and saw that there were women on the front porch too. I had my guard down when I was greeted with a rousing, “Hey Blondie!” which I ignored. We continued to walk by. “Don’t walk away Blondie!”. As we continued down the street, the man screamed after me, “Fuck you bitch!”.

My friend and I started walking much faster after that. I wasn’t in the mood to engage verbally, so I just gave him the finger as we turned the corner. Guess I am a bitch after all!

Submitted by Anonymous on 11/4/2009

Location: 11th and Harvard

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

Witness of Street Harassment

Photo by tvol via Flickr

I was on the bus on the way to work this morning, and out the window I saw an old homeless man sitting in front of Tackle Box. A young woman walked by him, and he stuck his hand out at her. She ignored him and kept on walking, and he turned his head so he could continue to watch her walk. Yuck! Had I been out there I would’ve called him out on it.

Submitted by Anonymous on 11/4/2009

Location: In front of Tackle Box (M Street, Georgetown)

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

Even at a church…

I like to go to week day mass and if I miss it I like to have a quiet moment to pray. So I go to St Mary’s and trying am trying pray. It is sort of deserted except for a couple of people moving about + two creepy ( I presume to be homeless because of their hygiene) guys who are lurking. This isn’t abnormal for a city parish. Anyways -The one who isn’t in a wheel chair comes up and offers to “tighten me up” and give me what I need… wtf … I can’t even have a moment a solitude in church??? I felt threatened. I told him to back the fuck up or I would mace him and quickly left.

Submitted by Kate C on 11/3/2009

Location: 5th & Hst NW Wash DC – St Mary’s Church

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

Nonstop Harassment

Photo by shandopics via flickr

I encounter street harassment far too often, but for some reason, the incidents that occurred to me on the past two Sundays are sticking in my mind.

Two Sundays ago, I was on the X2 bus around 10:45 am and a middle-aged man started talking to me and would not leave me alone. He asked me my name several times. At first I simply ignored him, but he wouldn’t let up, so I responded with a fake name. He then asked if I had a boyfriend and if he could call me some time. I told him that I did have a boyfriend. He continued to talk to me even though I didn’t respond. I suppose I could have been more confrontational, but I just wanted him to leave me alone.

Then, when I was waiting for the metro in the Chinatown station, a group of teenage boys tried to talk to me and one of them did almost the same thing. I ignored him at first, but he was persistent in asking me my name. I eventually responded with the same (fake) name and when he asked if he could take me out I told him I was visiting from out of town. I think both of these situations bothered me so much because I felt like I couldn’t get away. On the bus, there was really nowhere I could go and at the station I was sitting down and I felt like the boy and his friends surrounded me, so I couldn’t just get up and walk away. The feeling of being trapped was extremely frustrating, no to mention the fact that these men succeeded in making me start my day off poorly.

Ruining a Run

 

Photo by jordanfischer via flickr

I was running today – wearing running tights and a longish shirt and lovely gentleman called to me “hey camel toe”. I feel like every time I run, regardless of what I’m wearing, I’m harassed. And I’m not cute when I run – so I can only imagine the jeers other women get. It’s so frustrating and can ruin a perfectly good morning!

Submitted by KTW on 11/2/2009

Location: Columbia Road

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

College Harassers

 

Photo by jenny downing via Flickr

 

Yesterday morning, around 10:50am, I was walking to the bank from work. A man on his bike rides past me and yells, “SUCK MY DICK!” I was so confused and looked around and continued walking. The entire time I thought about what would happen if I had decided to kick him off of his bike as he road past me.

Submitted by M. Sherman on 11/1/2009

Location: Fraternity Row, College Park, MD (In front of the, “Welcome to the University of Maryland” sign).

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.