I went to a club in New York City last weekend for a party with a bunch of my lady friends. While dancing on the club floor with my girls, a guy came up behind me and stuck his hand up my dress. I turned around and gave him a really dirty look, but felt really invaded and upset by this. In the past, I always felt that this kind of behavior was par for the course when you went out clubbing. After going to the HollaBack DC Blog launch party, though, I learned how other women dealt with this kind of harassment, and also learned it’s ok to speak up and say something.

Ticket to Hell

photo by aslakr

I decided to that this kind of behavior is unacceptable and went to the bouncer to let him know that there was someone in his club harassing women. The bouncer went to him and tried to kick him out, but his group of male friends came to his rescue vouching for him claiming he would never do that kind of thing. His friend also came up to me, and said that his friend didn’t do it, essentially calling me a liar. The bouncer said the same thing to me, and gave me a “free drink ticket”, I guess to appease me, but letting me know if the guy did it again, he was out of the club. While the guys in his group avoided me and my friends for the rest of the night, I’m glad I spoke up. Sure, the lack of response was annoying, but I also know that I’m sending a message to guys like him. You can’t get away with that behavior, and if more women stand up to guys like that in the clubs, this behavior should hopefully go away.

submitted by Anonymous

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6 responses to “DC > NYC

  1. Telling the bouncer was definitely the right thing to do to, but unfortunately the bouncer was unaware of his job responsibilities. It is complete bull that this perpetrator was allowed to stay in the club. I think that the name of clubs that tolerate this kind of disrespect of women should be made public. Who knows, maybe we would start seeing a trend and be able to make an informed decision as to whether we frequent that establishment or not. I think that the bars/clubs who accept the harrassment of patrons should be held accountable.

  2. The name of the bar is “Opal” on 52nd and 2nd Avenue. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

  3. Golden Silence

    Anonymous, thank you for giving the name of that business. I know where NOT to go the next time I’m in NYC! And thank you for speaking up to the management.

    Opal needs to be held accountable for its actions. You’re a bouncer? Then do your job and BOUNCE those harassing losers out of your establishment!

  4. I generally don’t frequent clubs but went a year ago to one in Dupont for a friend’s birthday. This same thing happened to me numerous times while walking around the crowded bar portion of the club. It was awful and everyone brushed it off as something “that happens” when you go to clubs in DC. It’s nice to know how others have dealt with this, and should I ever experience it again, notifying the bouncer is definitely the course of action I will take. Thank you!

  5. Here’s an image of the bar if you want to include it in the DC >NYC post.

    I was really scared to list the name of the bar, but seeing the comments of encouragement empowered me further. This blog is really great and important for women like me, who have traditionally been afraid or indifferent about speaking out.

  6. That is actually considered 3rd degree sexual assault to be technical here in Maryland. Not sure about NYC. Bottom line – no one has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. Good for you for standing up to him. Maybe he will think twice next time.

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